It Wasn't Love
by CastielAndTheBlueBox
Summary: Love is for children, and Natasha Romanov had never been a child. After spending their nights together, Natasha and Bruce end up with a most unexpected consequence. What they had, it wasn't love. But maybe, it could be. ONESHOT.


_**A/N: Hi guys! Well, this isn't my first fanfiction, but it's my first on this account, and it's my first Avengers one. I've fallen in love with the Bruce/Nat pairing, and while I know it's not the most popular on the site, I figured I'd put this up anyway, it's been itching at my mind. Probably just a oneshot, unless you decide you want more.**_

_This wasn't supposed to happen._

That was her first thought as she stared down at the white stick in her hands, trembling a little, the plus sign making her feel sick, and this time it wasn't because of her... condition.

Much easier to think of it that way, much less personal.

They weren't in love.

That was the first point, one she would reiterate every morning when she got up and got dressed before he woke up;_ it wasn't love._

Because love was for children, and Natasha Romanov had never been a child.

She'd not been in love with any of the men she'd slept with, because sex was a tool, a way to get what she wanted by whatever means she could employ.

The closest, she supposed, she got to love, was with Clint, but after a few times they realized they were more like a brother and sister, and it was over, though they were best friends.

Then Bruce Banner came into the picture.

He wasn't what one would class straight away as 'attractive', so to speak. He resembled some sort of teddy bear more than anything else, and was so painfully shy that you had to look deep, deep inside to see him.

You almost wouldn't be able to connect him with the Hulk.

While the Hulk was destructive, and, frankly, terrifying, Bruce was the mild-mannered scientist who one would almost think was too calm to be real.

Natasha had gotten to know him, in the time they spent tracking the tesseract. It'd been tentative at first, more of a love-hate thing than anything else, but they kept in contact after New York. She wasn't as close to him as she was to the others- after all, she'd known Clint since she'd joined SHIELD, Steve came to work with them after New York, and she'd worked with Tony while scouting out potential members for the team.

It was after Tony rebuilt Stark tower and ended up with the five other members of the team (though it was only part-time in Thor's case, the demigod splitting his time evenly between Asgard and Earth) living in the tower with him, that she really got to know Bruce.

And she discovered he was completely different than she'd thought- wickedly smart, with a dry sense of humour and a smile that when shown was almost impossible not to return.

She liked him. And that in itself was a feat, for she didn't take to people easily.

It was no surprise to her, really, when she tumbled into bed with him, letting herself be taken apart. The first time he'd taken it slowly, a little reluctant, scared of hurting her. Not sure how _the Other Guy_ would react to sex. But they'd done it, and now...

Well, now it seemed she was supposedly going to be a mother.

She wouldn't exactly say she was keen on the idea, long-term, serious relationships weren't her style, and one couldn't get more long term and serious than a _baby._

Oh god.

But she'd vowed when she joined SHIELD, promised herself. No more innocent lives.

Not even if it was the child of her target, not even if it was a way in.

Not even, it appeared, if it was her own...

* * *

He was tired.

Not that he'd admit it to anyone. He could live off coffee if he wanted, had, in fact, done so when he was younger, before the Accident, before things ended with Betty, before... well, everything.

Bruce took a sip from the cup as he continued to look through the files, but it was a dead end. He put them down with a sigh, trying to contain his frustration. Years, and he was no closer to a cure.

_Not here, Banner. Not now._

He was thinking to himself in third person again, a common practice by that point. He never referred to himself as Bruce, because Bruce was a man long gone, replaced by Banner. Bruce was the man before the Hu- _Other Guy.__  
_

Banner was the monster.

He slept with Natasha. It wasn't a union of love, he knew that much, or at least, it wasn't for her. He'd grown fond of her, he had to admit, the way she'd smirk a little when he made some kind of wisecrack, the way she'd absent-mindedly twist a strand of hair around her finger and reach out to read a file, slim fingers flicking through it as her intelligent green eyes scanned the paper, before passing it back to him, making no comment unless she saw fault, just being a presence, and he appreciated it.

And then she'd bedded him, and he remembered her, moving on top of him, everything illuminated as he tried to make sure there was no chance of the monster coming out, thanks to the increased heart rate.

It seemed the endorphins helped, as he managed to make it through the full night without hurting her. He, personally, felt he deserved a gold star the first time, let alone the second, third, fourth...

He shivered a little, and then- speak of the devil- she walked into the lab, looking.

Well, awful, if he was frank. Which was a miracle in itself when it came to Natasha, she rarely looked anything but perfect, especially to him.

"Nat, what's wrong?" he asked, after a tense few moments of silence. She didn't say something, just slid an object across the table. In complete confusion, he picked it up and...

Oh boy.

It shouldn't be possible, he knew that much, but both had been affected by gamma radiation, and he supposed, in theory...

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and he glanced up at her, fingers tightening around the stick, and shook his head.

"Nat..." he trailed off, pushing him down.

_Not here, not now..._

He repeated it in his head, a mantra. Don't hurt her. Don't hurt the... baby.

* * *

"I'm keeping it." were the first words she managed to get out, slightly strangled. He looked ready to protest.

"I know, you think the baby'll be like you. And I get it but..." she sighed slightly, shaking her head. "I can't. I promised myself, no more innocent lives."

She sighed, and their eyes met across the table. _I'm sorry_ practically resonated from every pore.

He nodded after a moment, and sighed. "I understand." he replied, and put his fingers to his temples.

"I'll be there."

* * *

That was the beginning of it all, mused Bruce, as he looked at the ultrasound of the little girl they were having. Only a few months left by then.

She didn't have the radiation in her blood, and he was thankful, so, so thankful.

He sighed, and traced the small child's head.

It wasn't love, it never had been.

But maybe, one day, after all this was over, after they'd defeated their own demons, maybe...

Maybe it could be.

* * *

**_A/N: Argh, I don't know how I did, so I need you guys to tell me. Liked it, hated it? Let me know, and hopefully I can improve upon it for next time. I've not written in third person before, and not in that format, so sorry if it was jumpy/confusing. Again, constructive reviews are welcome._**


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